So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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