Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
