i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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