do herpes really smell.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
