Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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