She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
