remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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