don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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