people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
