yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i think i have two assholes
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
