i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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