And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
