Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Randomize
