well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
