I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
