Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
