maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Small penises have feelings too.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
