Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
