I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
