12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
