Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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