We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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