Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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