We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
