Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
