Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i used baking grease as lip gloss
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
