apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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