btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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