I could have mohawked her pubes.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
