the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this just has baby written all over it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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