i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
