yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
