you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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