I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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