I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
