she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
