Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
