Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
