i don't like sucking hair
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize
