Christians are straight up FREAKS
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Dicks are not precious.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
