apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
