he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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