He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
