I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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