and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This is the high leading the old right now
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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