I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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