I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
