Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Someone shattered a urinal.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
