It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
