Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
